Let's Listen To: Steel Panther- Feel the Steel

I got this alongside the Chthonic album the other day (You know, this one) because I love going up to the counter of HMV with two very different styles of music in either hand (see also: Micheal Jackson/Tool and Napalm Death/Daft Punk). I already know a couple of songs on this album, but I still have stuff to say about them, even if it does lose some of the spontaneity that this ground-breaking series has been built upon. But wasting no time, let's press play!

Death to All But Metal:
I love this song. I have been ever since I heard of the band. It perfectly encapsulates everything that is glorious about Steel Panther: Absurd lyrics, outrageous hair, superb guitar chops and liberal tongue bathing of '80s hair metal bands. The verse has the singer shouting hate at all the mainstream acts going around a few years ago with true campy vitriol, interspersed with the occasional high-pitched wail that he can carry off with ease. lines like "Kill those fucking fuckheads" just puts you in the mindset of big, silly tunes designed to plant a massive cheesy grin on even the kvltest of metalhead's faces. Absolute barn-stormer of an opening.
Asian Hooker:
Hmm, Japanese instruments. I guess it's not too far from Chthonic as I thought. But then they start talking about scoring with a geisha. Never fucking mind. I'm not sure if this song is just seriously offensive or something else. If anything, it's not subtle which I was thinking for a really stupid second. I feel that after I spent my whole time listening to Omerta saying that it's dumbed down, I feel like a right hypocrite for saying this is pretty dumb metal, but in a really, REALLY, good way. I guess it's just the way they're so brazen and unashamed of what they're writing about.
Community Property:
This is the other one I know. If you don't know what is "community property", I heartily suggest that you go and hear the song. If I tell you, it will ruin the entire punchline of the song. Yes, this song carries itself on a single gag, but it's delivered so well and with such sincerity that it works just as a comedian's huge four-minute anecdote, with exactly the same effect. Moments such as the really soft, intimate moment at about 2:10 throwing in lines like "I have to fondle my meat" simply can't fail to make me laugh. You may say I have a poor sense of humour. I'll say you think too highly of yourself. By now I've noticed that this album is considerably more difficult to provide commentary as you really have to listen to the lyrics to get the full effect of it. Listening to someone speaking while writing something completely different is no mean feat, but I guess I'll soldier on.
Eyes of a Panther: 
I'm hearing a real NWOBHM sound coming through on this, like Iron Maiden if they never sang about WWI. I can tell this is meant to be a super anthemic number as it lacks the bizarre profanities of earlier songs, and we've got the harmonised vocal lines in the chorus. I guess now's a good time to talk about the solos. Satchmo is a mighty fine guitarist, I have to say. He can pull off great sounding riffs and solos, and while they sometimes come off as oh so much wankery, do you really expect Steel Panther of all bands to care about being overly flamboyant? Look at them!
Fat Girl:
I can already tell this is going to be tasteful. Well it's another power ballad at least. I was going to say something about how the guitars sound, but then I heard the singer proudly belt out
             "She had boobs like watermelons/ and breath like rotten eggs."
How can I follow that up? What could I say that could do justice to such lyrical genius? Really, I shouldn't be doing commentary on the album, I should scan in the lyrics and write little notes on the side and I won't have to be typing at 100 words a minute just to keep up. You know what? I think I've said everything I can about this album, and I'm not even hlaf way through. I think I'll find you the lyrics and let you read them, then decide if you want to buy this album or not.
 Some people may accuse me of being lazy. I'd rather think that it's efficiency.

Fat Girl:

I saw her drinking beer Eatin peanuts by the bar I was pretty desperate and i knew she had a car She said her name was Debbie She was a friend Jenny Craig's She had boobs like water melons and breathe like rotten eggs I know your hungry I can see it in your eyes Cause your looking at me like I'm a side of fries I want to take your chubby ass back to my place And squirt my baby gravy all over your face Yeaaahh!!!
Woooooah woooooah Thar she blows
Woooooah wooooah Thar she blows
Fat girl She everything i wanted and more Fat girl She can't fit through the door woooooah woooooah Thar she blows
I want to prove to you my feelings are for real So I'm going to buy you a million happy meals yeah I won't joke about your body if you only let me in I want to sink my summer sausage into that double chin yeaaaahhhhh
Wooooah wooooah Thar she blows
Wooooah wooooah Thar she blows
Fat girl Is riding my jock again Fat girl is snacking on my cock againnnnnnnn (ouch don't bite)
(Guitar solo)
My friends keep telling me i must be going blind Cause you got cottage cheese all over your behind yeeahhh Even though some people point and laugh at us You can kick their ass because your bigger than a busssssssssssss
Fat girl I can't believe your eating again Fat girl Where does your neck begin
Wooooah wooooah Thar she blows
Fat girl Put my hotdog into your bun Fat girl Your really really tons of fun
Wooooah wooooah Thar she blows
Wooooah wooooah Thar she blows
Your my fat fat girl You know i really love you Cause you my fat fat girl
Woahhh Come here baby where you going (mooooo) Your a cow Come here baby hey I love you I can't live without you I can't live without you Come here Come here

Let's Listen To: Adrenaline Mob - Omerta

I'm Back! No need to worry yourself about the brief intermission, your daily dose of album content is back up and running!
And today, I'll be trying out the new album by supergroup Adrenaline Mob. Of course I was excited to hear about this band as it unites one of the greatest singers and THE greatest drummer in prog metal today: Russel Allen of Symphony X and so I'm expecting something mind-blowing. But something seems wrong, as only one song exceeds 6 minutes, a paltry running time for one of Portnoy's compositions. Oh well, that must mean we've got some tight, succinct pieces that don't go on long rambling instrumentals. I play Symphony X's Serpent's Kiss to get me in the mood, and press play!
Undaunted: Eh? This guitar tone sounds like it's stepped out of a Disturbed song! Oh well, must be the influence of their guitarist, Mike Orlando. Well, we're 20 seconds in and this riff doesn't seem to be going anywhere, and it certainly doesn't sound like prog. Wait, is that dreary, shouty David Draiman rasp really Russel? Holy crap, it seems these guys have come into the wrong rehearsal room! This can't have come from the mind of the 12-step suite! The riffs are so mind-numbingly dumb, the vocals are so "tough guy", fight metal tedium. The lyrics, oh god! They basically consist of Allen talking angry into the mic! Oh thank god, a solo that isn't fucking stupid! It's kinda outstaying its welcome but it nicely dances across the fingerboard and has some nice tapping that hides the horrible guitar tone. Also, apart from some moments when he does a little snare fill I'm not hearing anything from Portnoy that AC/DC's drummer couldn't do! Eh, next song.
Psychosane: Is that the song title you're going with? really? Well, this riff doesn't sound so much like recycled Disturbed, more like sub-par Alter Bridge when they start rocking out, which I guess is a plus. Allen's vocals on this album don't bode well at all I feel. I have the worrying sense that he really is trying to channel that fucktarded, FFDP style attitude into these songs, and guess what? IT DOESN'T WORK! This riff, again, just chugging with an occasional squeal over a 4-to-the-floor beat with no imagination. I really can't get over the vocals. Every time they appear I can only think of his recent performances on his recent albums with his proper band, with his soaring melodic lines. Now all I hear is something that was written for metal karaoke bars. Oh, some syncopation? Actual musical interest? Good heavens, are you actually trying now? And now another solo? Well, it's the same length as the last one, in the same place and uses similar licks. I know it's only the second song, but this could fall into a formula very quickly. Thankfully, it's finished now so I can have a brief moment of respite before I press play again.
Indifferent: Oh wait, we're back to Disturbed. I'm just waiting for a monkey noise now, at least I'll get some unintentional hilarity out of that. Actually, this verse seems to work fairly well as I just caught my toe tapping. Also for the first time we get a slightly less dense sound from the stodgy mess of the last two's producation. Although to the album's credit it does seem to be well produced; all the instruments are definately there and the lyrics are pretty clea- HOLY CRAP! Did Micheal Romeo just step in to do an epic lick, or did this album just get momentarily awesome? Oh, only for a moment. It was a solo transition, with some standard huge bends and shredding passages. Actually, I will have to admit that for his poor tone, this Orlando fella's got some serious Lead chops. Although the solo is in the exact same place, like the last two so I guess it doesn't count. Boo.
All on the Line: Oh, we've got a "heartfelt" acoustic song here. iPhones with lighter pictures in the air, everyone. You know what these songs need to carry it? Good lyrics. None to be found here. It seems that they've laid out cards with cliches on them, and pieced them together randomly. At least we've got the closest we'll see on this album to Allen actually giving a crap about his vocal performance. AH! SOLOS! Why can't you just put one outside of the middle eight? Are you trying to get all of these songs on rock radio? I just want some answers, dammit! Why did you take the life force of 2 great bands and force them to play 3-4 minute, dreary chords with shredding about 2 minutes in. This is feeling more and more like a chore with every song, and it's only the 4th!
Hit the Wall: Hold on, we've got the 6-minute song. Hopefully this will go somewhere! Well, we've finally got Portnoy putting some effort into the drumming, and the guitars feel vibrant and lively! Good god, I think I'm actually enjoying this! I have to admit, while I've been ragging on about Disturbed in this, I do actually enjoy ten thousand fists and Indestructible, and this song sounds like the cream of those albums. This song just feels like they've put some effort into the songwriting, as it has subtlety, the Solo isn't just forced in 2/3rds of the way through, they grow out the song texture and sound interesting, rather than mindless shredding. That said, I would like to hear a little solo out of Portnoy. Oh, finally! Allen provides a proper shriek that I love from his evasive, all-conquering lungs! Of course, with a longer song you need a tempo change, and this slower section is certainly a massive step down. It seems to consist of Russel singing "fade to black" over and over again while Orlando sprints across his 6-string. Shame about the cop-out fade ending, but I'm satisfied for now. I guess I'm feeling fired up enough to keep going.
Feelin' Me: Oh dear. I haven't even started the song and I can tell it will suck. First of all, the title sounds like a Steel Panther song, which cannot bode well for working into the groove metal sound they've got here. Second, it's in the graveyard zone of an album, the dreaded area between tracks 5-9, where it's typically concentrated filler. But, I must soldier on nonetheless. Well, it sounds just like the 2nd track, you know, one that I didn't like at all? Oh boy, the chorus has gratuitous swearing. Isn't that ever a  sign of a finely crafted masterpiece, when you need to emphasise the song title with "muthafuckin'" every single time? Oh hold on, just before solo du jour, I actually heard a bit of a proper Portnoy fill coming through, with a fairly standard but always-welcome bass drum/tom fill. At least I know that the band hasn't suffered some shady undercover lobotomy, leaving them in a state between vegetative and Limp Bizkit fan.
Come Undone: Duran Duran wrote this song. What the fuck does it think it's doing here at all, let alone right in the middle of the album? When Amon Amarth covered System of a Down, they had the common courtesy to throw it in as an optional bonus, not in the main tracklisting! Even still, they manage to make it sound like Disturbed's covering the song (read: not a promising sign!) Oh yeah, we've also got a vocal cameo from Lzzy Hale from Halestorm. She's adding nothing to this song, as I've heard Allen hitting those high notes before. Thankfully though we're treated to some lyrics that are above the level of angry drunk guy at the bar, but they're delivered with such insincerity it's not really worth it. with nothing interesting happening in the song, I might as well mention how the Bass is doing. I haven't been talking about the bass because quite simply, it pretty much doesn't need to be there. When I can hear it, it's only filling out the root notes that Portnoy could easily manage on his toms if he actually tried and other times it's just buried under the riffs and cymbal crashes. Interestingly, they've actually hired Disturbed's bassist to tour with them now, so I guess everything's just come full circle. Let's just finish getting through this, eh?
Believe Me: Gah! Disturbed are back! Now after what I mentioned just now, it seems that all the band members are trying to channel a band that were barely relevant when they started in 2000, and now are so outdated they've had to go on hiatus! This is Nu-metal song played by prog musicians, and I can't stand that. I'm perfectly aware these guys are more able than this trite. So for the rest of this song I'm just going to jam my fingers in my ears deep enough so I can scrape the eardums away. See you in about 2 minutes...
*scrape, scrape, scrape...*
Is it over? Oh crap, I guess I'll have to keep going now. Hold on loyal companions, we're not far from the end!
Down to the Floor: Funnily enough, the first thing I notice about this song is the bass! You know, the same bass that I said was nearly inaudible? Well now it's actually providing a little bit of harmony! The lyrics are coming out clearer than ever, and my god they suck! I said, they seem to exist for the sole purpose of giving pissheads something to sing along to while standing by the beer. Russel Allen is a fantastic singer, and he's being wasted in front of this band! Also, the solos. I think they may just be the most irritating part of the album. The greatest guitar solos are triumphant moments, soaring above the mix to give an invigorating kick to the song before launching into the next section. Here, i's just part and parcel of the album. Save for Hit the Wall, every song goes like this: Intro riff-verse-chorus-verse-chorus-SOLO!-ending section. The predictability of this album is what brings it down the most.
Angel Sky: Oh, and as soon as I say it's predictable, you throw in a power ballad. I'm trying to be scathing here, Adrenaline Mob! Stay consistent to my ramblings! Well, at least there's the jangly acoustic guitar carrying the whole song that I can hate on. Boo, and indeed hiss, to the jangly guitar! As is the case here, I've got to bring up Allen's performance. No more than here do I see how trying to up keep a tough-guy vox  while keeping up a soft, heartfelt tone doesn't make any sense! Make a decision, man! Oh, well it seems you do after a minute you drop any pretense of singing a ballad. Ugh, the solo is back again, but it least it's properly melodic and not just dumbed-down guitar wankery.
Freight Train: Last song! Hallelujah! Yes! Portnoy has a moment of his own! It's not much more interesting than his other beat on the album  (notice singular) but at least he gets to shine through for once! I guess the chorus is meant to give the impression that there is a freight train, as Allen frequently reminds you, but it comes of more a limp donkey thanks to that freaking guitar tone. Wait... I just heard a really cool guitar solo! In fact, guitar harmonies! If only it didn't get ruined at the end by obnoxious bends and the goddamned riff coming coming back in. Nearing the end, and we get all the musicians hammering away for a strong finish, but is sadly much too late to save the day as I thankfully take the CD out of the player and hide it away, never to be seen again.

2 things about this album: Formulaic song structure and Disturbed. These two aspects of the album are what brings it down the most, leaving us with an unremarkable, dreary slice of fight metal. While I would allow most bands to get away this, not Adrenaline Mob. This band has musician pedigree that far surpasses this pile of doody.

Let's Listen to: Chthonic - Takasago Army

I bought this album earlier today, and I thought it would be cool rather than just listen to it and write a rambling review that goes nowhere, I'll play it through and give my thoughts on it as it goes on.Of course you'd all love to see my well-reasoned, clearly thought out points about the album in the style of which you know me for, but mixing it up is always fun. I don't know any songs on this, so consider it a blind run. (deaf run?) But without further ado, Takasago Army people!
But first, the cover sleeve. The first thing I saw on the bus home. Alongside the lyrics it gives you a brief history lesson on the actual Takasago army that served under Japan during WWII. Reading this just makes me realise how Chthonic's stance on Taiwanese independence has allowed them to really break out across the Metal World. But enough stuff not about the music, here's the music!
The Island: Starts off with some distant-sounding flute, like it's up in the mountains. The synths are playing your typical tension-building malarkey with incredibly fake orchestral samples, but the chord pattern works well. Ah, now we're getting the Erhu in on this, another of Chthonic's most notable quirks. So, I guess that was a cinematic-style opener, and nothing more.
Legacy of the Seediq: ...And as expected, we're treated to low-end guitars, double bass pounding and the distinctly Taiwan melodies. The vocals start off all guttural, which isn't what I expect for this essentially Black Metal band, but they get into the higher range soon enough, and it sounds piercing and evil. Now we've got a chug-a-lug breakdown, something I feel I should hate more than I do, but their unique instruments keep it interesting enough, and the vocals are interesting while not being completely unintelligible. For an album's opener, I was expecting something faster and more blistering, but you have to wait until about 3 minutes for it to really ramp up with dense chords, manic drumming and DAT ERHU. ALL THE TIME. Another breakdown here, but it's got some nice tom beats fleshing it out. In summary, a fairly mid-paced song that opens the album nicely, but I've yet to see if this feel will be sustained throughout. If my other Chthonic album, Mirror of Retribution, is anything to go by I'll be expecting plenty more cinematic elements, loads of ridiculously high-pitched shrieking and cool fast parts to really get a crowd going.
Takao: If I recall correctly, this is the single off this album. I'm only guessing though, and not beothering to check. About 50 seconds in we really start hearing melody for the first time here on the guitars, and they work well in unison with the keyboard and erhu. There's a fairly hardcore-sounding moment at 1:30 with only drums and Ling shouting in his lower register. The chorus now, and it sounds like there's clean vocals under all the screaming! Then again, with the traditional instruments worked in so well, I wouldn't expect them to put on something that wouldn't work as a beautiful contrast. Okay, now there's some Taiwanese lyrics clean sung, and give off some Tyr/ Ensiferum vibes from me. Pretty sudden ending, but that's fine. A catchy, punchy song like this needs a succinct ending to avoid it meandering.
Oceanquake: Quick drum fill, and we're into vocals that sound even less like their black metal roots, and something you'd hear from some London HxC band tearing up the Underworld. Don't worry, as we're back into the shrieking and scratchy guitars soon enough. It seems for this album they've tried working in other sounds, but only briefly as they return to their core sound that has served them so well. There's a really cool tempo change at 2:10 when we get some epic horns coming from the synths and a pounding rhythm from the other instruments while we get some crowd-raising chanting, then the first guitar solo. Nothing special, works well as counterpoint to the riffs and has some nice licks, but all over a bit too soon. Another rush to the finish, and we're into the next song.
Southern Cross: For some reason, I had the bizarre urge to listen to a bit of Hatsune Miku before starting this song. Odd. We've got an intro similar to the album's opener, with atmospheric flute, but instead of orchestra, we've got a really groovy number, with a triplet pattern in the guitars and drums which really gets my head banging, despite my efforts to keep typing my thoughts. This song is really doing it well for me, I have to say. The guitar line dances across the finger board, the drums are precise and battering and the vocals make me wnat to join the ranks of the eponymous soldiers. The chorus has really clear words, making it very easy to sing along to. The guitar solo is much longer than on the last song, and really allows the guitarist to explore ideas, even with a harmony part that feels lifted out of a Dragonforce piece. This is easily my favourite song so far as it doesn't resort to one-note breakdowns or delegating the melody only to the erhu, giving other parts a chance to shine.
Kaoru: The intro sounds like souls creeping towards you in the misty mountain caves, before pumelling you with the drums beating down like a hailstorm. This is easily the heaviest song so far, with plenty of chug and blast-beats. Something I just noticed I'm missing on this album: The bass. I'm trying to pick it out in this song, and I can barely hear it, and even then it's just doubling up the guitar part or droning the root note. At 2:20 we get a brief moment of respite, before relaunching the assualt with some blistering fills and superb licks. We've got some more clean vocals which, according to the booklet, say were taken from an old Taiwanese song from the 40's, and they've worked it in well. I'm guessing when they recorded the vocals around the 4:00 mark, the singer was getting pretty tired as they sound more torturous than ever, but how he manages the harsh contrast between high and low growls really is a sight to behold, as well as some creepy whispered lines near the end.
Broken Jade: This song doesn't feel like it's going to be a super-fast number. Still, no problem with that. After the beating I got from Kaoru I need a moment of respite. This doesn't mean it doesn't sacrifice their sound either, as we've got the lovely Taiwanese melodies layered on top of each other as the vocals soar above the mix. During this song's breakdown we hear some plucked strings, possibly from a violin, but they serve the same purpose as the erhu has done earlier in the album, albeit far more percussive. It's at this point in the story that the titular army begin to suffer, and the second half of the song we see that reflected in the music. Somehow it feels even more minor and oppressive. Maybe that's my ears tiring though. But you can't deny the crushing attack of the line "We're coming for you all!" A devastating guitar slide, and we have an instrumental interlude while a radio broadcast from the war plays over the song, but eventually the vocals overpower it, a striking metaphor for the fighting spirit of the Takasago (If I ever say something that pretentious again, then God help me as I pry my eyes from my sockets.) It turns out I was wrong about this being slower though. But I would expect some tempo change in a 5-minute song.
Root Regeneration: Hmm, another minute-or-so interlude. More flute which I'm now familiar with, and some soothing water sound effects in the background. Come on guys! I would expect to hear this on album to put you to sleep! But wait, now we've got some ominous voice reading something in a language I can't understand. In trying to keep my typing speed up with this album, I can't check what he's saying. Never mind, next song.
Mahakala: Whoah. This song is black metal up your corpsepainted arse! Plenty of tremolo, oodles of blasting and epic screams. I can imagine just how this song would be used live to suddenly jump into after the previous song ends.I'm really feeling the groove on the track, and I think that intro pulling me right in my the scruff of my neck plays a big part in that. There's a really cool riff that sounds a more evil '80s Metallica (or any thrash band, really) about 2:40 in, and I'm resisting the urge heavily to headbang till my neck goes sore at it! While this song isn't necessarily bad, I can't really think of much to write about without feeling like repeating myself even more.
Quell the Souls in Sing Ling Temple: The final chapter in the story of the Takasago army has a suitably epic climax, fighting the Chinese army outnumbered by the thousands, fighting to the very last man in a grand act of defiance.. If Chthonic fail to match how incredibly metal that sounds, I'll be extremely disappointed. So let's press play and see what happens...

EVERYTHING WENT AS WELL AS EXPECTED! The drums are loaded with wonderful fills, the vocals are borderline painful to listen to, and the incredibly layered sound really pounds at your eardrums in the best possible way. This is closer to an "elephant marching" riff than anything else here, and while It's not much like that Gojira sound really, I can't think if anything else to call it. The guitar solo is decent enough, but doesn't do anything he hasn't done earlier on the album. And now we've got a calm in the storm with that percussive string instrument and erhu, before launching into a triumphant riff that reminds me of the finest power metal. Ling is really giving it his all here, before handing it over for a final guitar solo and a mad dash to the finish line, drums keeping it driving forward all they way. Here you can really feel the heart and soul of the band working together to create the sensation of being launched in your seat towards glory, and it makes me feel epic!

I will always like an album more on a second and third listen, no matter what genre so to have so many good first impressions is a clear sign that this is a worthy entry into Chthonic's discography. Nothing is particularly overused, the musicians all showcase their abilities superbly and the songwriting is sharp and fierce, fitting in excellently with a striking tale of the Taiwanese ideal fighting against oppression from Japan.
Just as a heads-up, I'll be going to Bloodstock this year where Chthonic are playing, so come find me! Buy me a beer and we'll chat!
...Please buy me a beer, I won't be 18 until November.

Cannibal Corpse - Torture

So it seems I'm going back in time, at least to the beginning of the year.
Also I'm on holiday as of tomorrow so that "Every Day" bit is actually going to start applying. This review will be shorter, as so many of you people pointed out to me that Koloss was quite rambling and didn't talk about the album too much.
So Cannibal Corpse. Most important Death Metal band still going. They have a legacy a mile wide of obscene lyrics, incredibly graphic cover art and visceral songwriting. The first thing that you notice with Torture though is the cover art. After the ho-hum cover of Evisceration Plague and the pointless one for Kill, it's so nice to see one of their albums to carry on the tradition set by covers like Tomb of the Mutilated, Butchered at Birth and the Wretched Spawn. Once you remove the cover slip designed to protect the little kiddie's minds as they look through HMV's metal section for Black Veil Brides, you can notice:

• Some poor fella's face peeled from the skull with the greatest "Oh shit." expression on his face I've ever seen.
•  A woman who's had some sort of foetus reinserted into her womb.
• A rat nestling inside someone's exposed intestines.
• That all these poor souls have been strung up on barbed wire. Imagine that for a second, hanging by your wrists with barbed wire.

OH SHIT indeed, my friend.

As a little experiment on the side, now imagine a thin wire, glowing red-hot being slowly pushed down your penis-hole. SLOWLY. Funny how you can recall the sense of pain so well, isn't it?
Either way, the artwork is wonderfully brutal and accurately sets the tone for the aural assault that you're about to subject yourself to. As ever, the boys don't fuck around with getting the album going, so they open with a double salvo of "Demented Aggression" and "Sarcophagic Fury", featuring a relentless, full-on battering from the battery of Paul Mazurkiewicz, a feat seemingly impossible at his age. Then you've got the guitars and bass that you've come to expect from a Cannibal Corpse record: Really fucking fast, fingers dancing on the fretboard and sounding like a rusty chainsaw while they're at it. Then they pull a curveball. Simply put, "Scourge of Iron" is slow as cricket matches. If I were to draw a comparison with a song from a previous album, I would compare it to the title track of their previous effort, Evisceration Plague. But unlike that song, this song is astounding. How Cannibal Corpse, one of the most intense bands outside of Grindcore, manage to put in a song this slow and nail it? A Remarkable achievement, and real credit to Eric Rutan for overseeing this album, as he's found a place for everything in the mix wonderfully whilst getting the best sound out of Rob and Pat's instruments.
Of course when I said earlier that the band are known for their obscene lyrics, the only people who still hold that opinion are those who know the name in passing. With the departure of Chris Barnes, so went the ridiculously over-the-top content. We all know now that there's not going to be another "Necropedophile" or "Meat Hook Sodomy", but I believe the lyrics are better now, the vocals included. Say what you want about the raw appeal of Barnes' super gutturality but the Corpsegrinder just has considerably more clarity in his voice, a greater range and a far stronger stage presence. This comes flying out at you in full force (save for the live performance bit) on Torture, as every line has been rehearsed, tried and retried until it fits best with the music and is as sonically clear as possible, much to the album's credit. This is no longer the young Cannibal Corpse with minimal production and sloppy performances, this is a tightly-oiled engine with complex time signatures, blistering solos and a charismatic frontman leading them all!
The rest of the album though, does not seem to manage the same level of intense assault that you get in the first 2 tracks. Maybe it was just my fatigue, in which case I MUST GROW STRONGER, they all kind of slip by. Past "Encased in Concrete", I can't recall any guitar lines or any lyrics bar the song title, save for one moment. The absolute pinnacle of the album comes on the 8th track, "The Strangulation Chair" where about 2 minutes in you hear an unbelievable bass solo straight from hell. I've always admired Alex Webster, and to hear such a perfect showcase of his talent is marvellous.
But even with the songs kinda falling into a routine, I still have to marvel at the songwriting on this throughout. Torture has some of the most complex riffs, solos and counterpoint between instruments I've seen from Cannibal Corpse ever, and they still manage to keep the songs razor-sharp and incredibly tight! From a musician's standing (ie MY stand point) this is a wonderful example of how to write Death Metal. It makes you bang your head, run into other people, marvel at the dizzying complexity and eat babies. So yeah, buy that!

MESHUGGAH- KOLOSS

So there's this blog thing. I've been meaning to start one up for a while, and today I figured I could get started. This is because one of my absolute favourite bands are currently streaming their new release online. Assuming you're the kind of person who prefers to read titles before articles, you should have noticed this album is by Meshuggah, second only in my eyes to the mighty prog giants that are Dream Theater, but more on that at a later date.
I was first introduced to Meshuggah by "that metal kid". You know who it is, the guy who stubbornly refuses to conform to the point of pointlessness and takes every opportunity to remind of the greatest genre of music. Since I agree with him on that front, I'm good friends with "that metal kid" and I'm actually seeing Meshuggah with him on 20/4 in London. He played me their most famous song, Bleed and I was taken aback by how different it sounded. He'd previously introduced me to bands such as Amon Amarth, Children of Bodom and Ensiferum (3 bands who would later appear on the same bill on one unforgettable night) but all those bands combine heaviness with a clear sense of melody and strong, hooky riffs. This song seemed to eschew all that, but not in the Mathcore sense of extreme dissonance and high-energy chaos.Bleed instead felt as though all the emphasis had been put on rhythm. Everything from the drums to the guitars to even the vocals had the sense that they don't need arpeggiated runs to improve the song, only this insanely groovy pulse that had a seemingly impossible drum beat underneath.
So I was hooked Meshuggah's sound, their songwriting and their technical ability from that point onward, but now I feel that I should start talking about the album in the bloody title. Koloss is the band's 7th full-length release in 20 years and 4 years after their previous opus, ObZen, and with every album they've tried to evolve their sound into something fresh, and for the most part this has worked well. But with Koloss I can't really tell what the great evolution is. I can clearly point out the stylistic differences between Nothing's complete focus on poly-rhythms and Catch-33's focus on one continuous composition, moving through and developing musical motifs. But when you take ObZen and place it against the new opus, I can't tell you that any songs would sound out of place if you switched the track listing around. Not that I have a problem with that; I will always be in the mood for an AC/DC or Manowar binge, but Meshuggah hold a special place in the metal scene as constant innovators, pushing the boundaries of what it means to be an extreme band in the modern world. Unfortunately this unique pedestal they've been placed on has meant an entire scene of copy-cats and lazy musicians has built up around them, almost causing them to be swallowed up in the process. If you take a look at Got-Djent's ranking of band popularity, Meshuggah are only 3rd, with acts like TesseracT and Born of Osiris ready to overtake. This is like seeing a list of Thrash bands with Anthrax and Sodom placed above Slayer! Furthermore these young upstarts (I say unironically at the grand old age of 17) have been integrating many more elements into the core Meshuggah frame such as Deathcore. To many new listeners who've been introduced to the more teen-friendly appeal of, say, Veil of Maya, they may find Koloss actually stripped back to the point of redundancy. "Where's a clean chorus?" "Hey, you want to get off the bottom string, Frederik?" I can anticipate these kids saying, to which I will reply with a punch to the face in the shape of I am Colossus!
Yes, for all its lack of a clear path forward for the band and the apparent ability to ignore the entire Djent scene that's built around it, I still think this Album easily stands up with their finest output. As I felt with the recent Cannibal Corpse record, Torture, Meshuggah don't seem to have truly evolved, merely pouring all their effort into tight, concise songwriting (Something I clearly need to look at with regards to my review writing!)  The riffs across the board are brimming with the infectious groove that Meshuggah have defined themselves on since the turn of the century, whilst still maintaining that 4/4 beat in the hi-hat that avoids the problem other progressive acts like Animals as Leaders and Protest the Hero have, where no matter how heavy it is, the odd time signatures are impossible to headbang to! To contrast this, there seems to be a growing emphasis on simpler songs without all the poly-rhythmic head-fuckery. It started with ObZen's all-out thrash opener, Combustion, and it seems to continue into this album with Swarm, but it feels less like the barn-stormer its spiritual predecessor was.
In fact, the whole album is much slower than ObZen. It feels like they've taken the tempo of Nothing, the melodies of Catch-33 and the intensity of ObZen and fused them together in this unholy concoction, and it works very well. I read elsewhere that this could be the album to get stoned to this year, but having never tried such substances I can't hold any authority on that topic. But I can tell you it will inspire the legion of drummer's a Tomas Haake's feet to play ever more complex beats, the poets among you will revel in the deep metaphors crushed by Jens Kidman's inhuman vocal performance but most importantly Koloss has the pounding, thick textures that make you want to bang your head and cause harm to something.

I will defend Meshuggah to the ends of the Earth, but I think that Koloss deserves all the praise you will hear from it. Buy the album, go see them live (either with Animals as Leaders in the UK or with Decapitated in the US) and be prepared to have your head smashed in by the pummeling groove monster that is Meshuggah!